I travelled to tiny mountainous Eswatini in 2021 on my way from Mozambique to Kruger Park in South Africa to get a glimpse of the last absolute monarchy in Africa. King Mswati III was everywhere: I found him on billboards and banknotes, as eponym of Eswatini’s international airport. I found him in the tabloid press which wrote about his lavish lifestyle and practice of polygamy (15 wives counting). Unfortunately I missed his biggest party, Umhlanga reed dance. My guide explained that the party usually starts with the gathering of girls and young women at the Queen Mother‘s royal village to cut tall reeds needed to maintain its royal houses. After days of preparation the real party obviously would only kick off on day six. The female partygoers, dressed in their traditional costumes and often wearing a bush knife as symbols of their virginity, sing and dance as they parade in front of the royal family. During the ceremony, the King Mswati chooses 365 girls. A large part of the 365 girls would live in a palace in the center of Mbabane, Eswatini’s capital. Of these 365 girls, the king may choose an additional new wife. The Daily Mail put the participating tourists’ experience more bluntly: “Topless virgins parade in front of Swazi king to celebrate chastity and unity.”